In my first post, I wrote that this blog was going to be like a journal to write down all of my China experiences and remember them forever. Well, that didn't happen. Mostly I think because I hated my blog background and set-up and the idea of writing into virtual "unknowness" [Note: yes, that also should be a word]. Hence my desire to remove it from my thoughts, despite my previous determination. And, even if I desired to change those things which I hated, I couldn't. China blocks blogger from the internet, and all the proxies I used weren't fast enough to change any of the lay-outs or backgrounds. Also, I was writing quite a few e-mails and skyping a lot and thus felt like I was re-telling the things I had already told to family and friends who read the blog. So, my blog stayed ugly, disorganized, pointless, and... neglected for months.
By the time August came around--it was too late. Even though I knew I should just make a few quick changes to my blog and write something--if anything just for myself and memories' sake--I couldn't. I felt complete disdain for my own blog and rejected it--almost thought of deleting it altogether and giving up. It was just too ugly [Note: yes, the words you're trying to avoid saying in your head are true--I was embarrassed--even ashamed of my blog].
But, for some reason (probably because I was too busy planning my wedding in one month to even think about blogs), I left it---left it completely alone to it's pitiful self and hardly thought of it.
Then, it happened.
Mark and I got married [Note: blog-post on the wedding and everything is to be expected in the hopefully not so distant future--for now I'll just tell you that it was PERFECT in every possible way] and came to Hawaii after our honeymoon [Note: blog-post on the honeymoon can also be expected in the hopefully not so distant future..... and yes, that was also absolutely PERFECT in every possible way]. Because I've already graduated but Mark (who also happens to be PERFECT in every possible way) is in school (he has a year/year and a half left), there are a lot of times I have nothing to do [Note: I'm aware of the over-use of parentheses/side notes, but I'm keeping them anyway). I've been job-searching and turning in resumes but you can only do that for so many hours a day.......
Alright, I can only do that for so many hours a day! It's excruciating and I just really need to get a job soon.
At any rate, during one of these hours of boredom I thought about my poor neglected, and very much rejected, blog. This time instead of anger and frustration, sympathy came over me as I thought about the poor thing with so much potential. That's when I decided to act and save the thing that I could probably take so much enjoyment in.
I still don't think my blog is just how I want it to be.... I mean, it's not gorgeous... but, it's no longer ugly. As for it being pointless.... well, maybe I'll still have times where I feel like that, but mostly I think it will be fun. The re-vamped blog has things that I will want to write about. This time the blog will just be fun for me. Because (if you couldn't tell by my consistently ridiculously long and overly-worded posts) I enjoy writing--even if just for myself.
And there you have it.... more to come on everything later.... most likely when Mark and I finally get internet and I don't have to come to campus every time I want to blog something.
[Note: all the images in this post were not found on the web--but are pictures of my awesome students from China... I love and miss them].